38) We Don't Play

It can't get worse, then it does.

I just spent an afternoon at the police department with a detective, giving a sworn statement about a theft that occurred yesterday. As soon as I walked in, it felt familiar, just like the PDs I’ve seen in countless TV shows and movies. I reverted to this weird, all-too-quickly accessed kid mentality, an immature mix of curiosity and horror while peeking into this nest of crime and casualties.

Only one wall was decorated in the waiting area; a taped grid of typewriter paper printouts of missing persons. I read each one, surprised to see these people had been missing since 2005, 2011, 2009. Children, old women, young women, young males. “Endangered” or “foul play suspected” was scrawled on some of them. I was overcome with sadness, not only for their plight and fate, but how they were so missing, they had to stay stuck in this low tech, aged display.

Me and the other theft victim were taken back into separate small rooms. Statement rooms apparently aren’t as austere as the interrogation rooms you see depicted all the time. Mine had two comfortable chairs facing a third chair where my detective sat. He turned on a nifty recording device and I told him what happened…

Yesterday, I was making a music video with Zach Person for “We Don’t Play,” ¹ (footnote has info on that) using a great director and cameraman Zach had worked with a few times. We also had a photographer documenting the process, Zach’s great drummer Jake Wyble, and publicist Stacia—theft victim #2. Zach had arranged the location, a nice hotel downtown, where a cool looking ballroom would serve for our live playing footage, and the loose story line could be shot in and around the hotel. We started filming at 11 am in this alley. It was cold.

By 12, we were back in the ballroom, where our gear, wardrobe, quick edit bay, lap tops, guitars, and stuff in general were. I noticed right away my phone was gone. Seven minutes later I was logging my Apple ID into Zach’s phone to ping “where’s my phone.” Minutes after that, we realized Stacia’s very expensive designer computer bag and contents were gone and I saw the five $20 bills I brought to contribute to lunch was gone. Also missing, my valet car park claim. I ran downstairs to see if my car had been taken, the others got hotel security involved. Car safe, I borrowed Zach’s phone again to set my phone as lost, with Zach’s number sent to the home screen in case anyone found it. My phone is also a mini-wallet so I began canceling credit cards. At 12:30 a call came into his phone from my phone. I answered and could hear environmental noise and voices. Zach urged me to check it’s location again and it shows location as a Best Buy in North Austin.

Zach and Jake take off to the Best Buy, I keep tracking phone. When they got there, I start pinging the phone while they walk the store listening for it. Bingo, scumbag and phone found. Jake gets in a scuffle with thief and with Zach’s help, they end up pinning the guy down on the floor for 25 minutes waiting for police help. It was an awesome citizen’s arrest. In case you wondered—I did—no one at Best Buy helped, but a few people stood around recording the ruckus. As it was, there was a second guy who escaped and drove off. Cops finally come, and by 3pm, they are back with my phone…and uh oh, a couple extra credit cards of mine. That’s when I realize they also got a pocketbook I sometimes have with me. Money from three countries a couple hundred in US dollars.

This is also when I realize that my phone was breached by the theft, despite having both a passcode and facial ID. I have no idea how, but my worries about my credit cards were the least of it. As I looked through my emails I saw that in the time they’d had the phone they’d managed to access Venmo, attach a debit, transfer my substantial balance and access Gmail with a changed password and new recovery email—scumthief@gmail—not really, but you get the idea.

So this went on for hours with police and me trying to get something other than a chat bot from Venmo to help me. It’s grand theft, very possibly an organized ring, who knows. I want my money back, it’s a lot. It could’ve been worse if Zach and Jake hadn’t stopped the one guy. He’s in jail.

We went on to shoot the rest of the video, starting at 4pm and going into the night. I would’ve done that if the phone hadn’t been recovered and who knows what they would have done with unlimited access given how much they did in a couple of hours. I’m mystified how someone gets into a phone that’s double protected. Anyone?

The finished product is going to be so much cooler and better, this is just some iphone capture of us playing, but I wanted to give y’all a sneak peak. Most of the time when a band makes a video they are lip syncing to track, but we are plugged in and playing for real along with the playback track so it wouldn’t look fake.

After I told my detective the story, we had some laughs. I enjoyed talking to someone in such a different line of work and he was appealing in many ways. We met up with Stacia and her interviewing detective… who said to mine “do you know WHO SHE IS?” He’d seen me from the front row at the Zach production of Head Over Heels. I liked it. I’ll take what I can get!

Hey, I owe my wonderful subscribers an apology for taking a bit longer than usual to dispatch. Since I’ve been back from overseas, my direction of motion = all over the place. If I were to list the things happening from day to day like I did recently to a friend who texted me and asked what I was up to, it’s such a mishmash of commitments, appointments, projects, procedures and gigs. Nothing is related to the other and I’m constantly switching gears and trying to sandwich hours of prep time for some things around the actuality of other things.

I’m not sure how I feel about this kind of busy. It keeps certain things at bay, for sure: any creeping loneliness, panic at the amount of work that hasn’t even begun for moving, and the horrific and daily soul crushing news out of Israel and Palestine. I fear for all of us and I luxuriate in gratitude at the luck and good fortune thus far that’s kept my life so different from from the misery of so. many. humans.

Tomorrow I get the first of two cataract surgeries. Despite numerous reassurances of the commonplace nothingness this procedure reputedly is, I’m anxious. I have a Bluebonnets show with the wonderful Ray Wylie Hubbard at the beautiful Paramount, am moderating a panel at the Texas Book Festival, (check this amazing schedule, books and authors!) and appearing at Bakersfield Comic Con with Gina Schock. Maybe some of you are in Austin or close to Bakersfield?

I wanted to write something literary and beautiful but sometimes we are just hanging on and a little barren, waiting to fill up and get a foothold. Thank you so much for sticking with me here on Substack, coming up on a year anniversary. I couldn’t believe when I had 100 subscribers and now here we are. I’ll fill up and get my eyes fixed and be back soon. xxKV

1. We wrote this song back in April, did a little home demo and performed it live for a charity event. We both thought it was a good enough tune to record professionally, so eventually we got a day at Bubble studio with a fave producer, Chris “Frenchie” Smith and made a killer track at the end of May. We both were busy all summer but Zach rounded up a great crew and location and we managed to schedule a full day we could all commit to making something cool.