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Janie's avatar

My deepest condolences on your loss. Clem was a much loved friend of mine for decades and, although I had not seen him in years, it breaks my heart to know I never will again.

Clem was very kind to me when I was hick music fan in NYC in the 1970s (I am a Texan, from a small town on the Gulf Coast). I became friends with him and his then-girlfriend.

A bit later, he was a mentor to a young band my husband, Robert Vickers, was in at the time. The Colors. He even played with them a little. I met you briefly some years back when Clem was playing with The Bluebonnets in NYC.

I heard about his diagnosis from mutual friends. Having helped care for a beloved aunt who had the same condition, I knew the prognosis and how hard the end would be. I wished I could help Clem but was told he was being cared for by friends and did not want anything more.

I have some idea what you and Clem went through near the end and you have my deepest compassion.

Thank you for writing so beautifully about your final days with him. It made me feel a little closer, and certain that he was well taken care of. Most of all, I thank you for that.

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Eric Chanin's avatar

Hey girl. I'm sorry for the lose of Clem. He was a bad ass! May he sleep in peace. 🌹💙🥺

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Anthony Castillo's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

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Sharon A's avatar

I put off reading this for a good while, since I knew it would touch the contours of my own recent grief. And the part about cancer -- and its treatment -- taking so many things from you before it takes your life hit especially close to home. Hubby couldn't even eat his favorite comfort food like yogurt and cottage cheese because the chemo made them taste "like gasoline."

But you've written a stellar tribute to Clem, and to what he meant to you, then, now and forever. I know that he'll continue to be with you, always. The sadness and grief don't really ever go away but they lessen -- the tears stop coming every day, every time you say his name out loud. And on a certain level, I hate that -- because, while my beloved will always be a part of me and the greatest part of my life (both in time and experience), his presence is nonetheless fading a bit -- like the clothes and sheets that smelled of him so much at first, that I would wallow in and sob into them, but now they barely have a whiff of him.

Time moves on, both cruelly and comfortingly.

May Clem rest in peace. Take care of yourself.

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Kathy Valentine's avatar

Sharon, thank you for reading, and for commenting. I am so so sorry for what your and your husband went through together and offer my condolences on your new normal.

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Sharon A's avatar

And thank you for your tremendous kindness and compassion as I've inserted my own story into these comments far too often. You are a great soul, m'lady.

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Sharon A's avatar

And I am so so sorry for what you and Clem went through at the end, but glad you had each other for so long. As I am so grateful that Billy and I were lucky enough to meet, fall in love, and have 49 years together.

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Emily's avatar

It took a while for me to read this. I’ve sort of been in a daze of it “not being real”. this is so beautiful- your deep love, equally met with respect and what seems like infinite mutual inspiration… what a gift! Hold onto that xoxo

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Evil MoPac's avatar

A beautiful tribute and so tragically sad. Thank you for sharing Clem with someone who didn't know him, and I'm so sorry for your loss.

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AngO's avatar

This is a lovely tribute to Clem. Thank you for writing it. Clem and I were cousins. One of the things I remember about Clem is how he took care of his father. His father was sick for a number of years and he took really good care of him. My father and Clem Sr were first cousins and I think he really appreciated that my dad stayed in touch with him. To my dad he was always Junior. He would always let us know when he would be in town and set aside time to get together with us. I remember one time Clem washed his clothes at our house and he called his dad while he was there. His dad was yelling at him for imposing on family. He was like,”But Dad it cost $3.00 a sock to send it out.” lol! My parents didn’t care.

I have a lot of fun memories of Clem.

You are right, he didn’t deserve this. He took really good care of himself and took great pride in doing so. I hate that this happened to him. He was a good person with so much passion.

Thank you again for writing this.

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AngO's avatar

Thank you! I sent you a private message on another platform. I wasn’t sure how to do it here.

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Kathy Valentine's avatar

which one? I will look

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AngO's avatar

Hi! I’m very sorry to bother you. Did you happen to find my message on Instagram?

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Kathy Valentine's avatar

no I looked through all the requests. saw nothing that mentioned Clem. what name is your insta name?

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AngO's avatar

Instagram

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Kathy Valentine's avatar

Thank you so much. Clem did right by his dad, we had that in common as we were both only children and both responsible for our one parent, in my case, my mom. we bonded on our shared situation a lot. I’d love to get your contact info privately as we are looking at getting him to the family cemetary in NJ. Would be nice to invite you

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Cheryl's avatar

This was really beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

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Elena's avatar

I am crying in my tea reading this, as someone living with cancer and someone who laid next to my dear aunt the night before she passed and lost 3 friends to cancer in a year and a half. We shared each other’s secrets, frustrations and had unspoken understanding. Thank you for sharing your love and experience.

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Kathy Valentine's avatar

I am so sorry for your losses and hope that sharing the experiences softens our grief.

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Elena's avatar

It definitely does and it creates new memories even if they aren’t physically present. ❤️ It’s beautiful to think how the music you and have Clem created are part of the soundtracks to millions of people’s lives.

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YorkpaUSA's avatar

Wow thank you for sharing your personal journey with Clem :) good read and heartfelt interesting , things I never knew . I was wondering , what he passed from a well. Thank you :) I've always been a fan of yours in the go gos

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Kelley Baker's avatar

I am so sorry for your loss, Clem sounds like an amazing person. You've written a beautiful tribute. Thank you. Sending good thoughts your way. Take care.

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Lisa Newman's avatar

Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. 🖤

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The SFB's avatar

I am in tears. What a tribute. Thank you for sharing this. ♥️

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Stephen Brooks's avatar

What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful human being. I bet he and John Ferriter are forming a new band as we speak...

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Kerry Elizabeth's avatar

I’m so sorry Kathy. Blondie was my first album, and I played it incessantly on repeat until I found the Go-Go’s in 79 and wore out my 78 of We Got The Beat. Met Clem at the Go-Go’s show in 2022. I never had any idea the two of you were a thing. Im happy to see you found your person and grieve for your loss.

Grief is love with no where to go. I pray you find a home for your grief. Thank you for a beautiful tribute.

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Kerry Elizabeth's avatar

I’m so sorry Kathy. Blondie was my first album, and I played it incessantly on repeat until I found the Go-Go’s in 79 and wore out my 78 of We Got The Beat. Met Clem at the Go-Go’s show in 2022. I never had any idea the two of you were a thing. Im happy to see you found your person and grieve for your loss.

Grief is love with no where to go. I pray you find a home for your grief. Thank you for a beautiful tribute.

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