51 Comments
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rick carney's avatar

A lovely tribute. As I've said to few friends over the years, "you know who would have loved this party? [in this case] Your Mom!"

I lost my Mom just before her 59th b-day, and no parties were in the planning; she just slipped away in the wee hours after an agonizing two months in hospice.

Thusly, I am so happy for anyone who gets [almost] all the years they're supposed to with their parent(s), be they crazy or difficult or ideal- ultimately it's all good.

Happy 89th to your Mom. Peace to you.

Cheers, rick

Ps: the dress rocks!

LOIS RICHWINE's avatar

Happy birthday Margaret. I loved this Kathy so beautifully written. Xo

Kathy Valentine's avatar

thank you Lois. miss you, will be in ATX soon and over xmas I think

LOIS RICHWINE's avatar

Miss you too. Def get in touch I'd love to see you while you are here!

Orah's avatar

Im so grateful to have found you on social media many years ago. Your writings have always brought peace to my soul. My mom passed just a month ago & your words are always so comforting. Thank you! 💖

Kathy Valentine's avatar

I am so very sorry. I hope you are doing ok

Sher's avatar

Mother-daughter relationships are all alike and all different. And it sounds like the more you grow, the more you see her as a person and not just as a mom. It's almost freeing, actually, when that occurs. Big hugs

Kathy Valentine's avatar

a lot to "unpack" as they say!

Robert Lazenby's avatar

Thats very nice and interesting post Kathy. My mum was born on 12th September 1931 and passed away early October 2022 after 12 years in care..you and I are only ones and it comes down hard. You just do the best you can

Kathy Valentine's avatar

that sounds hard, and very sad. I hope you're doing ok

Robert Lazenby's avatar

Thank you Kathy and yes doing just fine

Bill J.'s avatar

La ringrazio ancora, Ms. Valentine. My mom has been gone for nearly 35 years, but she still exerts a pretty profound influence. I think your Margaret is indeed very proud of you; I’d like to think my Marguerite is proud of me (as I know she would have been of her five grandkids, had she lived long enough).

Kathy Valentine's avatar

how wonderful her legacy lives on!

Bill J.'s avatar

As does Margaret’s!

Gregory Allan's avatar

Nice Kathy.

CLC's avatar

Damn speak everyone’s truth. Very very nice…you are a sage.

“Maybe one of the best things about love is that it can exist, and thrive and stay, even when the humans that are generating it are not capable of doing it perfectly. I’m not sure what perfect, ideal love is, but I’ve suspected for awhile, that to me, it’s wanting nothing but peace, happiness, and well-being for the person I love”

Bobby's avatar

Deeply moving. Thank you.

Cristina Z.'s avatar

Thank you for sharing your deepest feelings so beautifully. I somehow agree with your mum about disliking rules & conventions and disregarding consequences. That way you're more able to achieve your goals, without fear and become your true self!

This is a lovely tribute.

Happy birthday to your mum. ❤️🤗

Brian's avatar

Lovely

Tough...but lovely.

Becky Chapman's avatar

I love this. What a beautiful tribute. ❤️

Sandy A.'s avatar

As always, a great post from you, Kathy. Happy heavenly birthday to your mom. Today would have been my brother's 77th birthday (he died of AIDS at age 40 in 1989). Good people, those July 25th Leos! Much love to you.

Kathy Valentine's avatar

Ohhh, sending hugs for your brother's (belated) heavenly birthday too. a good day to remember as they all are

Chris Papps's avatar

You honour her every day, by being your thoughtful and generous self.

Mike Dennett's avatar

What a great post Kathy, Margaret would have loved her 85th birthday party! I recently reread All I Ever Wanted and I remember her leaving you alone (at 5 years old) and her 16 year old boyfriend. I believed she really loved you with all her heart but made a few mistakes along the way. Speaking of birthdays, I remember seeing a picture of your 21st birthday with a bunch of your friends and if I remember correctly, Robin Zander was in the picture! I would love to hear more about how that came about, if you feel like talking about it. I believe this was your last birthday before you started on your legendary musical career!

Kathy Valentine's avatar

yes that story is in the book too! it was my first time to be in ROlling Stone! thanks for reading, and writing a comment Mike

Steve Kempson's avatar

I love your unflinching honesty, Kathy, and a tip of the hat to Margaret for allowing you to write your story as you saw fit.

I hope you're making progress in your therapy. My feeling is that accepting the world as it is and not how we'd wish it to be is all we can do. Easy to say.

Much love, as ever.

Kathy Valentine's avatar

thankyou Steve!!