54) Clouds and Flowers and Music

BigAss Dreams, More Death, More Life

Jul 04, 2024

The other morning I woke up to hear that Austin writer Michael Corcoran had died. He was 68. It seems to me like an awful lot of people are exiting life too soon these days. I didn’t know him as a socializing friend, but we knew, liked, and respected each other. His most significant reign as a music writer and critic occurred when I lived in LA so I wasn’t a regular reader of his columns. He rankled a lot of people back then with outspoken, harsh and contrarian views, but again, I’m not familiar with that era. We had one short twitter fight back in 2007, after I’d returned to Austin (I won.) The Michael Corcoran I loved to read is available right here and now, in his Substack “Overserved” and in his wonderfully done books All Over the Map and Ghost Notes.

You don’t have to be from Austin, or even a Texan to enjoy Michael’s writing. “Overserved” is mixed memoir and history and one of my favorite Substacks: each entry is short and punchy and full of cool facts and observations from the trenches. It will be released as I book this September. Recently he’d asked me for a back cover blurb which I gave him back in March. I hope it comes out.

Michael drew from a 2013 feature he wrote on me for the Austin American Statesman to make this congratulatory post “Kathy Valentine’s Day” after my Rock Hall of Fame induction w/ the Go-Go’s. He was good.

A big welcome to all you new subscribers and followers—really happy and honored to have some moments of your precious time.

Trying to recuperate from the frenetic pace of the last couple weeks. I’ve landed on somewhat firm ground after being tossed around in the currents and undertows of music and band activity.

Got home on the two year anniversary of my mom’s quick and unexpected demise. I was reminded of it by a dear friend of ours who sent me a text and photo. I felt bad that I hadn’t remembered. I wondered how to acknowledge her death anniversary, what I was supposed to do about it. She doesn’t have a grave site, there’s no “family plot,” nowhere to take flowers and talk at a stone with her name on it. This lack of place is something I’ve thought about quite often since she died. When I know where I’m going to settle for sure maybe I can plant a tree or get a park bench with a plaque on it…wouldn’t be anywhere that has significance for her, but it would be nice for me.

Ultimately, I decided that my mom’s death day was horrible and something I’d just as soon forget. I think of her a lot, I miss her a lot, but that day, the “anniversary” of her dying is not one I want to remember.

It’s a rite of passage, losing parents and loved ones, and seems to be part of this whole deal of living.

And taking care of the aftermath, I just don’t know anything about this part of adulting. I think we’re all having to wing it.

Now it seems that getting older is a rigorous boot camp of blows; heartbreak after devastating heartbreak. Our job is to figure out how to take the hits and keep finding joy in the privilege of getting to show up and live another day.

So, I went to see Green Day at Wembley Stadium and got to stand on the side of the stage thanks to the generosity of my friend Anna. The bass player Mike told me he loved my playing and Billie Joe was so kind and genuine and the band members were welcoming and lovely. In this way I celebrated my mom’s life by living mine, fully and joyfully. Which I’m pretty sure she would like.

It was the second massive concert I’d seen this month, having gone to see Pink at Tottenham Spurs Stadium a few weeks ago, courtesy of my friend Bill who is a decades long member of her team. Both Green Day and Pink were blazing positive, great energy, like visiting a little galaxy of suns. Both shows were striking in similar ways; the overall backstage vibe of the crew and team. You can sense the loyalty and consistency of the people who get these artists from one massive venue to the next, keep it all rolling along. And I forget how rare and uplifting it is to be in the vicinity of 50-75k people who are happy and having a good time. I cried at Pink’s show when she sang a love song and the big screen showed a succession of same sex couples in the audience singing to each other and kissing. Each time, the stadium roared it’s approval.

This is how the entire world should be: roaring with approval for love and happiness and togetherness.

On the polar opposite side of stadiums, I enjoyed a very low level, low budget mini-tour playing in the UK with my band from Texas, the Bluebonnets. A few of the places were tiny, a few had no dressing room, one had no stage and we set up on the floor. It’s somewhat remarkable that I’m still willing to play gigs like this, a testament to how much I love these people and how much I love playing in a band.

Inserting here: we have a live show, our entire set performed live, premiering on July 4th at 10pm UK time, 5pm EST, 4pm Central, 2pm PST. It will be up for 48 hours. Please check it out here:

Someone where I live asked me how it felt to have been in a big band and now to be back at the level of a just starting out band. It’s a reasonable question and I appreciated someone having insight and interest in my perspective. My answer was slow and considered and somewhat like this:

Being unknown in a band is a very familiar situation for me, despite having experienced a lot of renown and fame for this career. If you take away the Go-Go’s and our work, that leaves about 38 years of playing in bands that are/were small and unknown. To name a few: the World’s Cutest Killers, Renegades, Shelter, the Delphines, the Impossible…the Bluebonnets…a lot of bands. Few people know about most of my bands and some of the best music I’ve created has gone virtually unnoticed. This isn’t moaning, it’s just how it is and I’m okay with that. I love to play guitars and love just about everything about being in a band. I would’ve done it non-stop all these years as a side hustle if I’d never seen the inside of a tour bus or a position on a Billboard chart.

Ironically, the things I that I didn’t like about being in a band only happened in the successful band. Not reading anything into that, just observing.

Seeing musicians getting to work and play at the highest level of performing generally inspires a lot of reflection. The biggest shows I ever got to play were festival situations where we were on the bill with a lot of big acts. To be the headliner of a stadium all by yourself is a whole other thing; a result of consistent output, growth, and commitment. It’s a phenomenal place for a musician to end up, a place most of us don’t even conceive of when we start our scrappy little bands. My “big” band never had a shot at being stadium headliners given the stagnating nature of the group. We evolved in different ways as individuals but stopped evolving as an entity a very long time ago. I have very little “what ifs” while watching my musician sisters and brothers. But…I do imagine and fantasize what it might be like to get to do that, maybe as a hired supplementary player.

As I said in the Oldster interview from last month: I still dream big dreams for myself and I can imagine all sorts of possible futures. I elaborate on that answer here and also ask you to share a goal or future you like to imagine for yourself. I have so many. Some are attainable, some likely, some very unlikely but that doesn’t stop them from taking hold in my imagination.

some of KV’s BIGASS dreams

Going on tour again with a band playing big places…or stadiums even!
Being in a “supergroup” of cool musicians I admire and making a great record
Developing my book into a tv series and getting an Emmy
Doing a National Geographic tour. Want to have fun getting lost with all the possible Nat Geo destinations? GO HERE (pictured below is one of my musts) Imagine seeing this many penguins. I die.

Producing and recording a record of my favorite blues songs with unexpected singers who don’t have “bluesy” voices singing and interpreting. Like Debbie Harry singing “Born Under a Bad Sign” and Susanna Hoffs singing a Jimmy Reed song Chrissie Hynde singing Howlin’ Wolf, maybe Killing Floor, etc etc. Too cool!
Getting a few masters degrees or maybe a PhD! Professor Valentine
Making a record, maybe called Boyfrenz where I collaborate with all the guy musicians I know instead of working with women (just for the heck of it)
Having a big villa retirement home slash commune with a bunch of cool people and an onsite doctor, garden, recording and art studio, loads of rescue pets wandering around. On a lake in boring Switzerland where we can get help dying if we get too decrepit.
Scoring a film or writing a theme song for a great show
Starting a really progressive company that helps young artists build and sustain careers in music and having it become an empire.
Writing a collection of short stories, each story with a musical soundtrack to accompany it
Figure out a really good Ted talk I can give
Fall in love maybe like 3-10 more times before checking out

Let’s hear some of yours!

The Direction of Motion

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