63 Comments

This piece is very touching & beautiful. I 've read it a few times. Every time I read it, it brings tears to my eyes.

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I recently listened to your audiobook (which was great) and it brought me here. You are a very talented writer, this is a beautiful, bittersweet story with beautiful photographs, particularly the most recent photograph, it speaks volumes. My parents are long gone, but I share the belief that death is not the end, but rather a transition to another path. As it's been said, it's not the destination, it's the journey.

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I listened to your brilliantly written book a while ago, so I have a sense of the loss and pain you felt from losing your father as a little girl. Thank you for sharing the relationship you built with your father in later years. What a special time in your life. Obviously, you inherited your father's musical talent, so he does in fact live on inside you.

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I just read this a second time and I cried a second time. This is beautiful. I'm glad you were able to have that time with him. Take care and keep doing what you're doing. You're an amazing person. Have a great tour!

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Powerful stuff, beautifully expressed. Saw you playing at my local pub in Bath last night - what a great show! - and thought I would find out a bit more about you. Didn’t expect to end up reading this but really glad I did.

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I love this story so much- I’m definitely OK with it being shared every Father’s Day. I’m jealous that you reconnected with your Dad and have those wonderful memories.

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Gorgeously written. Don't think anyone, at least of a certain age, won't identify and empathise with the 'clunkiness' of getting resolution with your parents, before or after they've gone. xD

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A lovely and moving story; so beautifully written. I cried for the little girl who felt abandoned, and then for you and your father, finding your way to each other before it was too late. Thank you for this tender story of reconciliation, understanding and love.

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You are a true wordsmith.

A wonderful read and a truly touching story-- especially (for me) the line, "I reassured him: I would not have been hanging around, making a close relationship with him my priority."

"...you are an extraordinary woman.” What greater thing can a child hear from a parent!

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Beautifully written. How wonderful to know that all along, you mattered. ❤️

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This was SO beautiful, I can't even... and I absolutely LURVED this: "There is no death, just a change of worlds.”

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author

I love that too, it's comforting

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Jun 17Liked by Kathy Valentine

This was such a beautiful story!! You were so lucky to reconnect with. My dad died when I was 10 . I thought about him when I read this and it may me think how wonderful it would have been to connect with him when I was older. I wonder how that would have been ???

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author

I'm sorry you didn't have a chance to know him. : (

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Jun 17Liked by Kathy Valentine

Such beautiful writing. I sobbed the first time I read it and again this morning. Such a wonderful reflection on and tribute to him and your relationship with him. {{💙}}

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Jun 17Liked by Kathy Valentine

Your story resonates with me. I, too, have a fractional relationship with my father. Reading your story is inspiring!

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Jun 17Liked by Kathy Valentine

Thank you for this beautiful story of a father lost and found. My relationship with my mother was problematic but not the one with my father -- we were very much alike and he "got" me, we were on the same wavelength. My mother passed away far too soon, only 71, and left some complicated feelings for me to work through. But my dad -- nah, we were the best of friends as I got older, and especially after he was widowed. When he died, almost 15 years after my mother, there was nothing but genuine grief and loss. I'm so glad you finally were able to have such a wonderful relationship with your dad, and condolences on his loss. It is, indeed, a sadness like no other.

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author

thank you for reading and sharing some of your experience Sharon. xk

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Jun 17Liked by Kathy Valentine

Thank you for letting us revisit this story about your dad. I’m so happy you got to have a relationship towards the end, and to know that he always loved and was proud of you. Really cool to see the pictures and the videos you posted earlier too.

I have 2 dads. The one that raised me and the one that gave me life. My biological father and my mom were only 15 when I was born. They married and after I turned 1 my maternal grandparents moved to California and my mom had the opportunity to move forward with her life and go back to high school and raise me with my grandparents.

My biological father joined the Navy after my mom left him. I do not remember my biological father in my life, and there were no pictures . I later learned my mom destroyed all of them. When I was 4 my mom married my dad (technically step-dad) who raised me and never treated me differently than my sister and brother who would come after me. I remember my mom telling me at a very young age I had another dad out there somewhere. His name is on my birth certificate. I don’t think I comprehended it all that well but I never forgot the conversation with her.

Fast forward to the late 1990’s when I was going crazy not knowing anything about bio-father and I looked into it and found him. I also found out I had 4 more siblings who knew all about me from their dad, but since he never had proof to show them they kind of thought it was just a fairytale.

We exchanged mail and emails for a period of time and tried to get to know each other, but he was too freaked out to meet me in person. They all lived in the Dallas area of Texas. I flew out to TX to meet my siblings which was strange and very emotional.

Finally in 2010 I met my bio-father and coincidentally it occurred when my oldest daughter and I flew out to TX to see the Bluebonnets after the Go-Go’s tour got canceled. It was very strange to meet him, but at the same time it was a closure I needed. I was shocked how much I resembled him and noticed the same shared mannerisms.

We really didn’t keep up with a relationship because he got too political on social media and he pretty much didn’t want to have anything to do with me and my daughters.

The dad who raised me is the only person I consider “dad.” He’s not perfect but he’s always been there for me and my daughters and I have gained so much wisdom from him. I’m very lucky to have him in my life.

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author

wow DeDe, thank you xk

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