back to catching up here, KV... it feels good to read your words again. i take notes when a phrase strikes a note within... not sure why. i just like to. "new life chapters"... yes, very much relate. I think a part of that is finding it fresh to just "be", right now. and also be able to let go of the past, which is almost usually impossible. but, by some magic or miracle, we become free. and we smile in our understanding, perhaps a new smile that feels a little different. and we can take a little deeper breath and just keep going. discovering... moment to moment.
I loved this whole essay but especially related to dating. I was single from 2010 to 2021. It was weird starting to date in my early 40s after being in rock bands all through my youth. Everyone I dated was interested in me because of the band. My husband was in the band.(It was messy. Very Fleetwood Mac). And I can sing really well. So when I started dating again, it often meant a lot to me when people liked me before they heard me sing or saw me perform. I mean, I love it that people think that that is attractive and hot and sexy – the rock ‘n’ roll on stage thing. But that’s not who I am 24 hours a day. It’s really powerful to connect with someone from a place of deeper meaning, not performance.
I feel that way being an ordinary senior now. No longer a hip skinny blonde babe, I’m invisible to those who need arm candy, conquests, borrowed status or whatever resource I represented to them. What a relief to be out of the PREY pool.
The eyes are still windows to the soul. Everything else is packaging.
I was in the middle of the whole grunge scene in Seattle. I had an intense high-drama boyfriend who was objectively rather ugly. But when things were good and we were really communicating honestly, his eyes were just complex Tiffany glass to me.
I hear you! I can compartmentalize pain. Ive been doing it my entire life, so it’s HARD to break the habit.
Traumatic injuries are… well, soul crushing. (I got a new hip in my 20s after walking on a “radical” fracture for 2 months- the ball snapped. also had to have my ankle rebuilt. That time was “lucky”, I guess bc my fibula snapped & there was absolutely no walking lol)
It’s hard to process the loss of life & grief that happens. (& now I’m all in my head about it. ugh)
Hope your wrist is feeling great & you have a safe trip home from the US! xoxo
Kathy! I so love your posts. Happy to hear you are blissfully playing music wherever you go and that your new life in the UK is exciting. I'm moving to Singapore for a few years next year for a huge opportunity with my art in Asia and following your UK adventures makes me trust that I can start a very new and different life outside of the U.S.... THANK YOU!! OXO
Well, you could just tell them "I'm from Austin." If they ask "Where's that", just say "between Dallas and Mexico." Keep them guessing, LOL. Did you ever pick up that print? I'm hoping it's not still languishing at Mailboxes Etc. I'm curious what you think of the work! Glad the hand is still in good order, and good luck on the new date.... curious how long you'll be able to keep him in the dark (but IMHO, that's not information you're required to volunteer at any point....)
I spent a lot of time in Malaysia between 2010 and 2012. This is where I learned to drive on the left allowing me to drive in the UK & Ireland, but that's not the point. I was visiting the Penang Botanical Gardens and heard what sounded like gunfire. I mean a lot of it. I wandered out of the park and saw the Penang Rifle Club. I walked closer and an older Chinese gentleman stopped me and asked what I was doing. I said something along the lines of, "Oh, I was curious what this was." When he heard my accent (American) he asked me which state I was from. "Texas," I answered. He excitedly invited me in and wanted to know more about my gun collection. There was an international pistol competition underway, so I got to watch it.
I have wondered if I had answered "Massachusetts" if he would have sent me on my way.
I'm still planning on attending tonight's show with the same friends. See you then?
Just read Lauren Hough's fangirl substack post that she wrote after attending your concert the other night in Texas. Hope you get a chance to read it. If Lauren gushes about anything, it's most likely very special, and it's obvious you gals put on quite a show. Wish Texas--and the UK--were not so far away from the East Coast! So glad that life is being good to you. You deserve it!
Hi Kathy! It was a close call but thank goodness you’re OK! Remember when Jane fell off a cliff?! With my sobriety came weight loss, inner peace and a new found appreciation for physical activity and a trainer at a gym. Who knew I’d like it so much! About a month ago I was being introduced to a dead lift squat and I heard a minuscule pop from my right knee. I have a discomfort, but it should go away with physical therapy. I can relate to that sensation you felt. I need to be 100% because at the end of June I’m off to Salamanca University in Spain to study the first phase of a Master’s in culture and language. One of my life goals! Another is to write and find you to be a great source of inspiration!! Thank you for sharing and hope to see you when and if the opportunity should arise.
With fondness,
Günther
XX
Oh! I tried writing a book about my love life … turned out to be a pamphlet . It’s so awesome that the guy doesn’t know who you are!! Love it and I’m at the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens next! A la Annie Wilkes in Misery! LOL
Even though you helped provide much of the happy soundtrack of my college years in LA, I'm more curious about what you're writing about here than if you were just rehashing another setlist from 1984 so thank you for that. England is good for not having to wear your Famous Mask; I met both the drummer for the Mekons and also the guitarist for Stereolab through friends and spent a happy time talking to them about anything but famous gigs they played. Your transition to the UK also interests me because even after 14 years here understanding much of what makes this country still eludes me. It's both home and still somehow foreign for me, especially living in Essex. Interestingly enough, Amy Rigby also appears to be transitioning to the UK and has been writing about it on her own Stack.
“Curious if any of my readers has felt this way? Just sort of, hey my past life happened, it was special, awesome, or not, and now it’s gone and let’s just start where we are today ??”
Definitely 🤙 When I was younger I thought that the more someone knew of me the better, even if it wasn’t exactly relevant. Now that I’m older, here and now is when and where it’s at. 🤙 I can still gab about the past if that’s where the convo goes but now ooh look a squirrel! tends to be more engaging for everyone 😀🐿️
Plus, what does our story actually mean anyway? 🤔 Sometimes I’m not sure and I’m the author!
I’m relieved your Titanium Claw is intact and allowing you to continue playing. And how beautifully you encapsulated “vigilant” into the conversation. As the recipient of two Titanium Super Knees, I’m embracing the idea of being vigilant as well.
I winced when I read about your fall, but became relieved when I saw you play in the video. Good thing you healed quickly. I also appreciate your introspective writing when reacting to such events.
Yes, Nietzsche remains a complicated character. Too bad his ideas were constantly co-opted after his death.
Three cheers for Texas! I always found it fascinating how people develop simplified images of faraway places. Coming from California, I had to dispel the stereotype of either being a beachcomber, hippie, or computer geek.
Your Continental Club event is probably over by now as I write this. Hope it was successful. Good luck for your June 1st concert.
Good luck with your in-person date! Best way to get a fresh start is to meet new people. Each time I meet a person for the first time I always feel that I become a new person to some extent. After all I have no idea what the person will ask of me, so making good first impressions requires me to prioritize different aspects of my past for each new encounter. Have fun!
It looks like you have crossed the Atlantic quite a few times since your move. You must have acquired a lot of frequent flyer miles by now...
Gonna try to be at the C-Boy's show on Sat. And glad you're OK! It's very strange to be worried about falls but that's also one of the "joys" of aging.
back to catching up here, KV... it feels good to read your words again. i take notes when a phrase strikes a note within... not sure why. i just like to. "new life chapters"... yes, very much relate. I think a part of that is finding it fresh to just "be", right now. and also be able to let go of the past, which is almost usually impossible. but, by some magic or miracle, we become free. and we smile in our understanding, perhaps a new smile that feels a little different. and we can take a little deeper breath and just keep going. discovering... moment to moment.
Kathy, I think somebody is selling unauthorized merchandise on your Facebook page using the name "Jess Park."
I loved this whole essay but especially related to dating. I was single from 2010 to 2021. It was weird starting to date in my early 40s after being in rock bands all through my youth. Everyone I dated was interested in me because of the band. My husband was in the band.(It was messy. Very Fleetwood Mac). And I can sing really well. So when I started dating again, it often meant a lot to me when people liked me before they heard me sing or saw me perform. I mean, I love it that people think that that is attractive and hot and sexy – the rock ‘n’ roll on stage thing. But that’s not who I am 24 hours a day. It’s really powerful to connect with someone from a place of deeper meaning, not performance.
I feel that way being an ordinary senior now. No longer a hip skinny blonde babe, I’m invisible to those who need arm candy, conquests, borrowed status or whatever resource I represented to them. What a relief to be out of the PREY pool.
The eyes are still windows to the soul. Everything else is packaging.
YES. It is freedom. THIS: The eyes are still windows to the soul. Everything else is packaging.
I was in the middle of the whole grunge scene in Seattle. I had an intense high-drama boyfriend who was objectively rather ugly. But when things were good and we were really communicating honestly, his eyes were just complex Tiffany glass to me.
Ugly guys are the worst cheaters.
So Happy to stay single now.
I hear you! I can compartmentalize pain. Ive been doing it my entire life, so it’s HARD to break the habit.
Traumatic injuries are… well, soul crushing. (I got a new hip in my 20s after walking on a “radical” fracture for 2 months- the ball snapped. also had to have my ankle rebuilt. That time was “lucky”, I guess bc my fibula snapped & there was absolutely no walking lol)
It’s hard to process the loss of life & grief that happens. (& now I’m all in my head about it. ugh)
Hope your wrist is feeling great & you have a safe trip home from the US! xoxo
Kathy! I so love your posts. Happy to hear you are blissfully playing music wherever you go and that your new life in the UK is exciting. I'm moving to Singapore for a few years next year for a huge opportunity with my art in Asia and following your UK adventures makes me trust that I can start a very new and different life outside of the U.S.... THANK YOU!! OXO
I’m glad you are healed now. I recently learned of attachment styles. You strike me as secure leaning dismissive avoidant.
Well, you could just tell them "I'm from Austin." If they ask "Where's that", just say "between Dallas and Mexico." Keep them guessing, LOL. Did you ever pick up that print? I'm hoping it's not still languishing at Mailboxes Etc. I'm curious what you think of the work! Glad the hand is still in good order, and good luck on the new date.... curious how long you'll be able to keep him in the dark (but IMHO, that's not information you're required to volunteer at any point....)
I spent a lot of time in Malaysia between 2010 and 2012. This is where I learned to drive on the left allowing me to drive in the UK & Ireland, but that's not the point. I was visiting the Penang Botanical Gardens and heard what sounded like gunfire. I mean a lot of it. I wandered out of the park and saw the Penang Rifle Club. I walked closer and an older Chinese gentleman stopped me and asked what I was doing. I said something along the lines of, "Oh, I was curious what this was." When he heard my accent (American) he asked me which state I was from. "Texas," I answered. He excitedly invited me in and wanted to know more about my gun collection. There was an international pistol competition underway, so I got to watch it.
I have wondered if I had answered "Massachusetts" if he would have sent me on my way.
I'm still planning on attending tonight's show with the same friends. See you then?
Just read Lauren Hough's fangirl substack post that she wrote after attending your concert the other night in Texas. Hope you get a chance to read it. If Lauren gushes about anything, it's most likely very special, and it's obvious you gals put on quite a show. Wish Texas--and the UK--were not so far away from the East Coast! So glad that life is being good to you. You deserve it!
Hi Kathy! It was a close call but thank goodness you’re OK! Remember when Jane fell off a cliff?! With my sobriety came weight loss, inner peace and a new found appreciation for physical activity and a trainer at a gym. Who knew I’d like it so much! About a month ago I was being introduced to a dead lift squat and I heard a minuscule pop from my right knee. I have a discomfort, but it should go away with physical therapy. I can relate to that sensation you felt. I need to be 100% because at the end of June I’m off to Salamanca University in Spain to study the first phase of a Master’s in culture and language. One of my life goals! Another is to write and find you to be a great source of inspiration!! Thank you for sharing and hope to see you when and if the opportunity should arise.
With fondness,
Günther
XX
Oh! I tried writing a book about my love life … turned out to be a pamphlet . It’s so awesome that the guy doesn’t know who you are!! Love it and I’m at the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens next! A la Annie Wilkes in Misery! LOL
Even though you helped provide much of the happy soundtrack of my college years in LA, I'm more curious about what you're writing about here than if you were just rehashing another setlist from 1984 so thank you for that. England is good for not having to wear your Famous Mask; I met both the drummer for the Mekons and also the guitarist for Stereolab through friends and spent a happy time talking to them about anything but famous gigs they played. Your transition to the UK also interests me because even after 14 years here understanding much of what makes this country still eludes me. It's both home and still somehow foreign for me, especially living in Essex. Interestingly enough, Amy Rigby also appears to be transitioning to the UK and has been writing about it on her own Stack.
“Curious if any of my readers has felt this way? Just sort of, hey my past life happened, it was special, awesome, or not, and now it’s gone and let’s just start where we are today ??”
Definitely 🤙 When I was younger I thought that the more someone knew of me the better, even if it wasn’t exactly relevant. Now that I’m older, here and now is when and where it’s at. 🤙 I can still gab about the past if that’s where the convo goes but now ooh look a squirrel! tends to be more engaging for everyone 😀🐿️
Plus, what does our story actually mean anyway? 🤔 Sometimes I’m not sure and I’m the author!
Best wishes and heal well ❤️🤙
but now ooh look a squirrel!
YES that’s why it’s called The Present. As long as we all see an actual squirrel.
Long before the ADD diagnosis I was given the nickname Squirrely Girly, so you caused great delight here! 🐿
I’m relieved your Titanium Claw is intact and allowing you to continue playing. And how beautifully you encapsulated “vigilant” into the conversation. As the recipient of two Titanium Super Knees, I’m embracing the idea of being vigilant as well.
I winced when I read about your fall, but became relieved when I saw you play in the video. Good thing you healed quickly. I also appreciate your introspective writing when reacting to such events.
Yes, Nietzsche remains a complicated character. Too bad his ideas were constantly co-opted after his death.
Three cheers for Texas! I always found it fascinating how people develop simplified images of faraway places. Coming from California, I had to dispel the stereotype of either being a beachcomber, hippie, or computer geek.
Your Continental Club event is probably over by now as I write this. Hope it was successful. Good luck for your June 1st concert.
Good luck with your in-person date! Best way to get a fresh start is to meet new people. Each time I meet a person for the first time I always feel that I become a new person to some extent. After all I have no idea what the person will ask of me, so making good first impressions requires me to prioritize different aspects of my past for each new encounter. Have fun!
It looks like you have crossed the Atlantic quite a few times since your move. You must have acquired a lot of frequent flyer miles by now...
Gonna try to be at the C-Boy's show on Sat. And glad you're OK! It's very strange to be worried about falls but that's also one of the "joys" of aging.
I’m so sorry you fell. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Can’t wait for the new book!!♥️♥️