OMG! I missed this dispatched! WTH!?? (WHY do I not always get the headsup on your dispatches!??) KV I'm always on your side. This was an intense dispatch! . Sorry I was not there to respond in a timely manner appropriately ! :( You know how much you (& your band) mean to me since 1981! I'm always here! :) This dispatch made me sad. :(
We did a purge-and-move 4-5 years ago, and it definitely lightens you. I’ve lost a few things I shouldn’t have gotten rid of, but overall it’s been a great thing. It was like shedding life-weight.
The week before Thanksgiving I was visiting with my Mom in Hendersonville, TN, near Nashville. I live near Chicago, so my mom suggested I move down to Tennessee and split an apartment with her. She wants to get away from the assisted living facility she currently lives in. Immediately my mind went through the horrors and stress of packing boxes, loading them into trucks, driving hundreds of miles, unloading and unpacking. Granted I would be closer to my Mom and my sister, but I just don’t feel like I am ready to go through all that. I have established a life here in the burbs of Chicago. Best of luck to you with your move, it’s got exciting and overwhelming all at the same time.
As one of your fellow "olds" I admire how you savor life, and take a jump into new adventures. Taking stock of one's life through possession inventory can be almost gut-wrenching at times. What one needs vs what makes sense vs what one keeps because it elicits a memory or a meaningful time in one's life or is in someway attached to someone who is no longer a member of this mortal coil. "Do I need this?" in practical terms answered "no" can be overruled by "Do I need this" in terms of how something seemingly useless elicits a certain emotion, feeling, or image.
Hi Kathy! During the summer I took my stuff out of storage and found that I couldn’t let go of a lot of things. Albums, CDs, books and archival material that meant the world. I managed to get rid of things I really didn’t need. I save everything. I should’ve sold some of my “big eye” wall decorations from the 60’s. I love how I can somehow always connect to what you write. Wish you the best on your move and will wait till December 23 to wish you a happy holiday. I only bought a real tree once... then again my family never celebrated Christmas. XX Günther
Hi Kathy, I’m not moving, but still going through similar stages with aging and sifting through stuff, trying to get rid of it so my boys won’t have to one of these days. My book club will be reading The Swedish Death Cleaning book some commenters have recommended. The book that speaks to my frame of mind is called Nobody Wants Your Shit: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die. (Except for you, KV, people DO!) I’ll be reading both. Good luck with the move and all that comes with it…❤️
Everything you talk about in this write-up I have thought about recently! I have really enjoyed all your articles but this one really hit home with me! I am glad you are just renting your home and not selling it. Best of luck with the move.
Several years back, now I remember it was 2015, I moved out of what was my childhood home. Funny how I almost forgot what year was lol. Since then, I've moved several times, and I hate it every time. Well, life I guess just happened sometimes, and we have to plug along. But instead of asking you for advice like I like to do especially when it comes to my sobriety, I'm going to offer you a little piece of wisdom that I can share, since I lost my mom way too long ago, it'll be 30 years next February. That guilt will eat you alive if you let it. But speaking from experience, the guilt gets easier to deal with and becomes less frequent. I know it's hard not to think about what could have been, I find myself doing that a lot even still. But I'm sure your mom wouldn't want you feeling bad for what couldn't happen. Just think that way
Once again, thank you, Ms. Valentine. I think our parents accumulated a lot of stuff that they wanted us to have as both their legacy and our "nice things to have" after they've left us. What you describe as "ruthlessness" is necessary, though (in my opinion), because my kids don't really want the things my mother set aside for them. So it falls to me to make some judgment calls.
I have hundreds of music scores: Piano-vocal editions of the operas I've performed, studied, or teach; dozens of anthologies and other scores of classical song literature (again, that I've either performed, studied, or teach). I'm still acquiring music, too, as I discover new or new-to-me composers. I have no idea what's going to become of all of those, when I retire from teaching.
Above all, you're right: It's time that I/we think about, most.
Happy Holidays to you and yours, and Gute Reise for your travels!
There’s a show on Peacock, Swedish Death Cleaning. It’s very good! It actually inspired me to get my 65 year-old ass up and start declutterring my world....
It seems like we are living parallel lives in terms of making a big move. Fortunately for me, I am only moving a 90 minute drive away. As with you, I have so much to cull or to keep. I have my own personal library of sorts that I need to keep for my further research and writing. I just gave away piles of books and still have bookcases to go through. Arrgh! Then there's the other 'trivial' things to worry about (furniture, clothing, kitchenware, etc.)...Double Arrgh! Oh, I just purchased something from your swag and stuff site, but no Arrghs for this item!
Also, this holiday season will be the last at my family's old house. So I am planning one last Christmas dinner here. Good to know you have people who want to share this event with you.
Remember Robert Browning's oft cited quote: “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made."
OMG! I missed this dispatched! WTH!?? (WHY do I not always get the headsup on your dispatches!??) KV I'm always on your side. This was an intense dispatch! . Sorry I was not there to respond in a timely manner appropriately ! :( You know how much you (& your band) mean to me since 1981! I'm always here! :) This dispatch made me sad. :(
We did a purge-and-move 4-5 years ago, and it definitely lightens you. I’ve lost a few things I shouldn’t have gotten rid of, but overall it’s been a great thing. It was like shedding life-weight.
Yes, I can't wait to be less stuffed!!!
❤️👍
The week before Thanksgiving I was visiting with my Mom in Hendersonville, TN, near Nashville. I live near Chicago, so my mom suggested I move down to Tennessee and split an apartment with her. She wants to get away from the assisted living facility she currently lives in. Immediately my mind went through the horrors and stress of packing boxes, loading them into trucks, driving hundreds of miles, unloading and unpacking. Granted I would be closer to my Mom and my sister, but I just don’t feel like I am ready to go through all that. I have established a life here in the burbs of Chicago. Best of luck to you with your move, it’s got exciting and overwhelming all at the same time.
THanks Andy, and it sounds like you know what is best for you --which is sometimes hard to know so good on ya for that!
As one of your fellow "olds" I admire how you savor life, and take a jump into new adventures. Taking stock of one's life through possession inventory can be almost gut-wrenching at times. What one needs vs what makes sense vs what one keeps because it elicits a memory or a meaningful time in one's life or is in someway attached to someone who is no longer a member of this mortal coil. "Do I need this?" in practical terms answered "no" can be overruled by "Do I need this" in terms of how something seemingly useless elicits a certain emotion, feeling, or image.
Be well, all the best, and thanks for sharing.
THank you Rick, good comments!
That is so awesome!!
Hi Kathy! During the summer I took my stuff out of storage and found that I couldn’t let go of a lot of things. Albums, CDs, books and archival material that meant the world. I managed to get rid of things I really didn’t need. I save everything. I should’ve sold some of my “big eye” wall decorations from the 60’s. I love how I can somehow always connect to what you write. Wish you the best on your move and will wait till December 23 to wish you a happy holiday. I only bought a real tree once... then again my family never celebrated Christmas. XX Günther
THanks as always Günther for reading and commenting! Those big eye paintings are very collectible!
Hi Kathy, I’m not moving, but still going through similar stages with aging and sifting through stuff, trying to get rid of it so my boys won’t have to one of these days. My book club will be reading The Swedish Death Cleaning book some commenters have recommended. The book that speaks to my frame of mind is called Nobody Wants Your Shit: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die. (Except for you, KV, people DO!) I’ll be reading both. Good luck with the move and all that comes with it…❤️
Thanks Suzanne. That made me laugh. I still have so much stuff despite my desperate attempts to get rid of everything I can. Ugh
Everything you talk about in this write-up I have thought about recently! I have really enjoyed all your articles but this one really hit home with me! I am glad you are just renting your home and not selling it. Best of luck with the move.
love hearing this, thanks!
Several years back, now I remember it was 2015, I moved out of what was my childhood home. Funny how I almost forgot what year was lol. Since then, I've moved several times, and I hate it every time. Well, life I guess just happened sometimes, and we have to plug along. But instead of asking you for advice like I like to do especially when it comes to my sobriety, I'm going to offer you a little piece of wisdom that I can share, since I lost my mom way too long ago, it'll be 30 years next February. That guilt will eat you alive if you let it. But speaking from experience, the guilt gets easier to deal with and becomes less frequent. I know it's hard not to think about what could have been, I find myself doing that a lot even still. But I'm sure your mom wouldn't want you feeling bad for what couldn't happen. Just think that way
thanks Heather! appreciate your thoughtful words
You're welcome, I know it's a complicated subject. And I'm not worried, you'll handle it like a pro
Once again, thank you, Ms. Valentine. I think our parents accumulated a lot of stuff that they wanted us to have as both their legacy and our "nice things to have" after they've left us. What you describe as "ruthlessness" is necessary, though (in my opinion), because my kids don't really want the things my mother set aside for them. So it falls to me to make some judgment calls.
I have hundreds of music scores: Piano-vocal editions of the operas I've performed, studied, or teach; dozens of anthologies and other scores of classical song literature (again, that I've either performed, studied, or teach). I'm still acquiring music, too, as I discover new or new-to-me composers. I have no idea what's going to become of all of those, when I retire from teaching.
Above all, you're right: It's time that I/we think about, most.
Happy Holidays to you and yours, and Gute Reise for your travels!
thank you Bill!
There’s a show on Peacock, Swedish Death Cleaning. It’s very good! It actually inspired me to get my 65 year-old ass up and start declutterring my world....
Good luck!
I keep hearing about it! I will have to watch. Except I think I cancelled my Peacock
Good luck with your packing and big move!
It seems like we are living parallel lives in terms of making a big move. Fortunately for me, I am only moving a 90 minute drive away. As with you, I have so much to cull or to keep. I have my own personal library of sorts that I need to keep for my further research and writing. I just gave away piles of books and still have bookcases to go through. Arrgh! Then there's the other 'trivial' things to worry about (furniture, clothing, kitchenware, etc.)...Double Arrgh! Oh, I just purchased something from your swag and stuff site, but no Arrghs for this item!
Also, this holiday season will be the last at my family's old house. So I am planning one last Christmas dinner here. Good to know you have people who want to share this event with you.
Remember Robert Browning's oft cited quote: “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made."
Keep on truckin'!
THanks Bradford, love the quote!
It comes from a book that described the practice of clearing out possessions so that whoever is left behind is not burdened by them. There was even a show that showed this in practice! https://reviewed.usatoday.com/accessibility/features/swedish-death-cleaning-method-how-declutter-kindness
Aha, it keeps coming up but you were the first to mention!
thanks! it was the only thing they thought I could do well😉
which is why I'm a controls tech at the sewer plant🙄😂
stay well travel safe and play some stars on the radio for me
Unintentional Swedish death cleaning.
what does this mean Arnold?!