My mom used to tell me and Audrey that she was going to write her memoirs and call her book “Etc.” She was very proud of this title and concept. I’ll honor her upcoming birthday on Friday by thinking of her, remembering her, and using “Etcetera” in this dispatch title—which happens to sum up it up pretty well.
Flowers
If I don’t have a few vases of flowers in the house, I’m probably heading out of town the next day, but even in that case, I usually leave some for the house/pet sitter. It’s an indulgence I enjoy immensely. I figure the money I don’t spend on booze, cigarettes or other unhealthy substances is well spent on beauty and color. Flowers do something for me that nothing else does. They bring me into the moment, into a nice space of appreciation. Of course, being cut and sold as a commodity is sort of a bummer, but like many things, I figure this enjoyment has to come with a sacrifice or price. Flowers in my home are like little sample handouts from the righteous, ravishing world of nature. Reminders of impermanence and the transience of beauty, how it changes with age, but even in a state of decay, there is still beauty.
I bought some peonies from the shop up the street, they were red explosions of vibrancy and they went on and on like this for weeks. And then they began to fade, lose their color, curl up a bit. Still gorgeous and I still have them, a month later.
What a commonplace and apt metaphor for life as an aging human. My occasional explosions of vibrancy might not pack the punch they used to, and I’m nowhere close to fading or curling up at the edges—but when it happens, I hope I can embrace it with the gracefulness of a peony.
Bouquet
Life has had more beauty and color than usual with the arrival of Audrey and a spectacularly random collection (or ‘bouquet’ if you’re partial to an ongoing analogy) of events keeping us entertained and making great use of London’s unparalleled public transport. In a little over a week we saw Austin heavy sludge riffcore gals Die Spitz, Neil Young and Cat Stevens in Hyde Park, comedienne Taylor Tomlinson, a workshop presentation of Thelma and Louise as a musical, and a play called Life, Death, and Wilko, about former Dr Feelgood guitarist Wilko Johnson. All of these were cushy, great invites and made me happy I know so many unusually talented people willing to let me tag along and be in their world for a spell.
Die Spitz are the same age as Audrey, it was interesting backstage to see the dual relating—to her as a young woman also poised to take off into full on adulting life, and to me as musician who has pretty much seen and done it all. They are fearless and doing it right, ie, having the time of their lives. If you’re 22, touring in a band with a new record about to drop, and not having the time of your life—get out now I say, something’s wrong.
Thanks to the kindness of my friend Jeff who handles Neil’s guitars, we were tucked into a little private area in front of the sound mixing board at the Hyde Park BST concert, where 65,000 people were rocking out to a string of back to back Neil Young classics. I’ve seen him a number of times over the years, but there’s something especially moving seeing him at 79, looking all of his years but also having the time of his life. Every single song he’d turn away from the mic and take a few steps over to jam alongside his band mates, like we all do with our own bands. The fact that he has sustained in the music business so successfully, for so long—with a non-mainstream song catalog, a singular voice that’s not for everyone, and guitar playing that defies stylistically what most would consider “great” makes Neil Young one of the most inspiring artists in my book.
Being next to Audrey, singing along with thousands to Cat Stevens/Yusuf and Neil made for an unforgettable day. Being aware, in real time, as it’s happening, that I was in the midst of an experience that I’d likely cherish for the rest of my years made it all the sweeter.
Taylor Tomlinson is a 30-ish woman American comedienne who I wasn’t hip to—apparently I’m in the minority, she sold out 2 nights at the nearly 4000 seater Eventim Apollo Hammersmith. We laughed. A lot. She is really really funny, with a heavy loaded set of jokes poking fun at her rejected fundamentalist Christian upbringing.
My friend Neko Case has been working on the music to “Thelma and Louise” for years. What a great privilege it was to witness a workshop production—alongside Neko and original screenplay writer —now musical book writer—Callie Kourie. It was incredibly powerful and nuanced in ways that the excellent film couldn’t include and we loved it.
If you don’t know about Dr Feelgood, it’s worth a rabbit hole visit to find out. In short, the English band was the precursor bridge between rock n roll and punk rock, and guitarist Wilko (not to be confused with the band Wilco) influenced English new wavers and punks from Elvis Costello to the Stranglers to Gang of Four. Julien Temple made an acclaimed documentary called Oil City Confidential that I highly recommend. Here’s a clip of me sitting in with the cast band of the Wilko play—the first woman guest they’ve had!
Sitting in the gorgeous Leicester Square Theater, I was thunderbolted with an overwhelming desire to write a play and see it performed on that very stage. So. Maybe. Why not?
Seeds
My friend Jennie Vee, an in-demand and always working bass player, posted a series of things she’s learned over her career, or wished she’d been told at the beginning when she was starting out. It inspired me to do a similar thing, but instead of posting on Instagram as she did, I thought it might be better here, where readers can ask questions or comment. Thanks for the idea Jennie!
In no particular order of appearance as to importance, this is what comes to mind
If you want to just be a player, play. Play all the time or as much as you possibly can. Practice to records, learn songs from You Tube, play with other people. If your dream is to be a musician in a band, the better you are, the more unique you are, the more versatile you are, the better band you will land in, and/or you will be doing your part to make the band better.
Connect with your audience by being connected to your music. When you’re onstage, you are performing and unless you’re a virtuoso that people just want to watch execute Olympian feats of dexterity and knowledge, people want to see how the music and songs are affecting you. If you’re not connected to your music, if it doesn’t make you move, or smile or inspire you to relate something about it to the audience—maybe in an anecdote or story, they are not going to care.
If you play guitar or bass, train yourself not to stare at your hand on the neck. It’s possible to just glance at your hand occasionally to make sure you’re moving to the right fret. I saw a band recently that had so much energy but it was all diluted—practically negated— because each of the players had their eyes and head turned towards their hand on the neck. It looks amateurish.
If you want to be an artist, in addition to your instrument, write songs. Write lots of songs. It’s a numbers game. Eventually you might be good, and once you’re good you can hit great now and then.
If you’re a singer/songwriter, the lyrics matter. A lot. Work at avoiding clichés, work at crafting, learn the rules and conventions of songwriting structure and then don’t be bound by them. Don’t ever let structure interfere with creativity and originality, but always be mindful of craft. Craft is what keeps it from being random and chaotic. But that can work too if it’s musical. Actually anything can work if an audience likes it or you’re just in it to entertain yourself.
This follows, picks up at the previous, and is key: it is your judgment and choices, what you leave in , what you take out that defines your particular and unique style. This applies to playing a solo or writing a song. Or any art really. Everyone has the same notes, the same words to work with. Only you will make the choices you make.
Back to lyrics: in rocknroll, It’s also ok, more than ok, to write dumb nonsensical words too. Bang A Gong. I Want to Fly Away. Any Led Zeppelin song. Champagne Supernova. I have to work hard sometimes at “dumbing down” lyrics because I tend to want everything to have literary flair, and sometimes, for some songs, it just needs to be simple and catchy. Brix and I just wrote a song together and we had to reign in our cleverness over and over again.
Tone. I’ve gone on about that here before, it can’t be stressed enough. If you play guitar or bass, the tone really, really matters. If you don’t know what you want, what you like, how you want your instrument to sound, it might not be the right thing to be doing. Personally, for guitar, I go for what I like to call loud crunchy velvet. I’ve only found the sort of perfect tone that I prefer in vintage amps, but I hear lots of players getting great tone from non-vintage gear. With bass I like punchy round, like a hammer with foam around it.
Don’t make a big deal out of it when you’ve made a mistake. It’s ok to laugh a little to yourself, glance at a bandmate and shrug or smile, but mostly, don’t acknowledge it. Don’t get rattled, don’t let it drag you down. Having said that, it can really suck to be in a band with another person who makes tons of mistakes. I don’t have much advice for that—if you mention it, they get more nervous and make more. If you don’t mention it they might think you don’t notice. See, after all this time, some situations are still confounding to me!
Always keep your antenna out for inspiration, and write down your ideas. Don’t assume you’ll remember anything later on. It’s easiest to write or compose if you start with an inspiration. I’ve gotten inspiration from conversations; things people say. From reading; anything—books, articles, ads, billboards, cereal boxes. From TV show or movie dialogue. From hearing music on the radio or elsewhere and getting the lyric wrong, realizing it’s wrong but good and then using it! I’ve gotten inspired by melodies that pop in my head, by beats or rhythms — record on your phone.
Well. that’s enough for now.
If you’d like to take a look at Audrey’s new substack, it’s here: Dream Logic will feature her poems, essays and stories. She has a beautiful way with words; so much so that sometimes when I’m writing I will think “how would Audrey describe or write this.” High praise and absolutely true.
Thank you for your patience, time, willingness to read, subscription support. I’m grateful for all of it.
The Earth laughs in Flowers. -Emerson
Mid 70's I had Dr Feelgood on strong rotation. Back in the night, blues harp from Lee. So good.
Such a great read thank you Kathy.
Art is the antidote to despair