Hiya! First off, welcome to lots of new subscribers. yay! Some prior posts have taken readers through the process of songwriting—kind of a “how the song sausage is made” thing—so if you see the term “song sausage” that’s what it means. Other than that, I think everything else is easy to follow.
I started “Direction of Motion” in November 2022, after months of feeling lost and uncertain about my future. Much of this un-tethered, adrift sense was precipitated by loss: my mom’s death, my dog’s death, the famous band’s decision to not work, empty nest syndrome with daughter moved away for college. In post #1, I invited readers to:
…come along with me and maybe we can figure out some stuff together, or by being a part of my going through the directions of motions you’ll relate and find parallels to your life too.
Now, five months later, it’s weird because I’ve been super busy but still very uncertain about the future.
My big plan was to move to London so I’d be closer with family. Surely a big change like a new country and home would compass my life’s direction. After a two month visit I came home to Austin to pack up things, rent my house out, figure out how to ship Rocky and Gingerman, the kitties.
Instead I got home to an on-going series of non-stop, back to back, worthy but short-lived jobs, interspersed with activities and events. Which is all great. But. I have to ask and wonder: will living in UK mean I don’t get any opportunities? Everything I’m getting to do is because I’m here in the US. Here is where the past I built or was dealt, both, all of it, got constructed.
Moving to England is still in the plan, but not when I thought…because of a job I accepted. Actually I did more than accept, I asked for it and then got it. One lesson I’ve kind of drilled into my daughter Audrey, and always pointed out when I’ve just done it so it’s not just me drilling words but showing her….is to always, always
Ask for what you want.
Maybe someone reading this needs to hear this, I’m going to say it again. With more emphasis:
Always ask for what you want.
I don’t think I need to elaborate. It’s a mantra. It’s a lifestyle. I might not get what I ask for but I definitely won’t if I don’t ask. So I ask. For upgrades, for clarity, for acknowledgment, for discounts, for favors, for work, for exceptions, for help, for directions, for a break.
Speaking of which, here’s an ask for you…a totally unplanned but perfect set up!
Back to my great new gig.
I’m pretty psyched about this deal, because it’s nothing I’ve ever done as a musician before: playing onstage, interacting with the performers in Austin’s Zach Theatre musical production of “Head Over Heels.” I’ll be musical director, leading the band, picking the band, and playing in the band. 6 shows a week, plus rehearsals, tech rehearsals. Wow. So. yeah.
When “Head Over Heels” was on Broadway, it was truly one of the most unexpected and greatest things of my career. We’d accomplished a lot, much of it unimaginable. But a Broadway musical featuring our music was beyond. This will be different than the Broadway run, but Zach is great. Come see the show. Even though it’s hot af in August, Austin has AC, tacos, swimming and great music.
Got waylaid on this first song, “Hurry.” Have had to prioritize some other stuff. Here’s where it stands now, in part, unmixed and very rough. Don’t want y’all to forget how far we’ve come!
“Hurry” was started in my 6th post Detour, back in January, with just some lyrics and a melody. If you’ve been following along, you’ll hear how well the bass part I worked on (Substack 11 & 12) fits, and hear some of the decisions I made about the rhythm guitar parts (Substack 14.) I’ve got to redo a guitar line I left out of this snippet because it sounded a little out of tune. I have to come up with a guitar solo. And still working on the vocals. Hope to have these for you next time.
I’m really hard on myself about the singing part. It’s not my best talent, but I don’t want that to stop me. I do it, even though the vocals never measure up to how I want them to sound. I just keep trying to get them there and eventually give up and accept I’ve done the best I can.
Sometimes I wonder: if I hadn’t been told by someone I looked up to, who told me many years ago when I was 25 yrs old “not to bother with singing, you’re not a lead singer”— maybe I’d be less picky about it and just sing the song and be done with it.
I’m very careful about not doing that sort of thing. The idea of someone who looks up to me asking what I think about this or that and me lodging some inadequate bullshit in their mind is appalling. I will never, ever tell someone they shouldn’t or can’t do something they’d like to try. It’s a good policy.
That’s the thing with words, the power of them. The way they are received. The context, the tone, the timing—one day they bounce off into oblivion, have no effect. Another day, the same words become embedded into your very fiber. When that happens, it’s like someone else’s words are writing your story. Always better to write your own story with your own words, yeah?
Also on the music front: Last dispatch, Zach Person and I were working on our song for “A Chance to Rock” the non-profit that works to bring music lessons to kids in the foster care system. I’m posting a bit of the finished demo. We’ll be recording it from scratch in a fully equipped studio at some point but the demo helped with the writing and arranging process. On May 1st we will be playing it together at a fundraiser upstairs at Antone’s, along with a few of our own tunes. It’s called “We Don’t Play” and I think I mentioned before, my lyrical inspiration was “Succession.” Cool. I’m singing backups—which I do really well and never worry about—and did the bass and beat programming. Zach played guitars and sings the lead vox. We wrote the music and lyrics together. It was a totally fun collab and I hope we do some more.
Here’s the KV hot list (like that’s a thing, it’s not.) I’m watching Beef and blown away by what good television this is. Incredible acting, storytelling and writing, and it gets better and better as it goes. Also, Succession. I’m reading Caste by Isabel Wilkerson and it’s eye-opening to say the least. For instance, did you know that the Nazis studied American methods of suppression and oppression to help fuel their charming ideas of supremacy?
…the Nazis wondered how the United States had managed to turn it’s racial hierarchy into rigid law yet retain such a sterling reputation on the world stage.
Aside from learning and entertainment, IRL I had intense dental work this month and upcoming skin checks and a new colonoscopy doc meeting. Colonoscopies scare me, I’ve only had one. I made it a date with my last love, a long distance Facetime date, that was the only way I could do it. He made me. Digress! Also coming up: A gig with the Bluebonnets. A trip to LA where I’ll sit in with Glen Matlock’s band at the Roxy then back to Austin for more stuff, beginning with the fundraiser with Zach.
Apparently one can keep doing things and being occupied with all manner of activity while still feeling uncertain about the future. And I’m not really sure that a busy present is a replacement for knowing and aiming for a specific unknown something.
That kind of doesn’t make sense, and yet it kind of does. I think some of you will understand.
As always, I welcome your comments and engagement. Next one from LA, around 4/28.
Oh my gosh! Is that you and Dave Steakley?!? That’s so great HOH is at Zach!!! I used to worked couple of shows there in the 90’s!!! Great memories! Congrats and stay cool down there!!
hmmm, not sure if you're actually asking...
and wanting feedback. re: "I have to ask and wonder: will living in UK mean I don’t get any opportunities?"
HOH looks GREAT!!!
HURRY sounds great! YOU sound great.
The power of words, yes. so very YES.
They have the power to tear down, and build up.
We never know when a word will stick forever... like you mentioned.
So refreshing reading your words. I love your points of view.
it seems the universe is piling on work for you at about this time, perhaps letting you know something... in regards to 'permanently' moving to uk. maybe as i get closer to being caught up i'll see if there are decisions made. on to #20 (I'm getting a little anxious knowing I'm running out of catch up posts)